MINI USA Highlights Past April Fools’ Moments To Help People Smile

At a serious time when people around the world are trying to stay safe and healthy, and practice social distancing at home, MINI USA would like to remind everyone of the therapeutic power of a smile by highlighting some of the brand’s most memorable and humorous past April Fools’ moments since MINI re-launched in 2002. This is in honor of this April Fools’ Day, a holiday that is widely considered to be cancelled this year.

Over the past 18 years, MINI has celebrated the levity and joy of April Fools’ Day with outlandish models, concepts and accessories that were never intended to make it to reality. While most were simply virtual ideas to celebrate a holiday dedicated to jokes and pranks that’s dated back to the 1500s, MINI did go as far to create one and launch it at a major international auto show in 2012.

“MINI has always had the ability to make people smile, whether through our humorous advertising and guerilla marketing stunts, or simply by the appearance of the familiar, smiling face that people see in the front grill of a MINI.” said Andrew Cutler, Head of Corporate Communications, MINI USA. “We hope that during these difficult times, reminiscing about some of our past April Fools’ Day moments will make people smile. It’s an important part of helping us all get through this together.”

Below are some of MINI’s best April Fools’ Day releases.

2002

MINI INTRODUCES REVOLUTIONARY THIRD HEADLIGHT: ‘CENTERLITE
Another Example of When Three is More Fun than Two

Woodcliff Lake, New Jersey, April 01, 2002…While most cars now come with either two or four front headlamps, MINI has introduced a groundbreaking third headlamp specifically for foggy English weather.

The third lamp is situated in the air-intake position, which previously fed the MINI Cooper S supercharger. Re-routing the air induction through a ‘hairdryer technology’ sub-mounted pump, has freed up this position for the ‘fog-busting’ third eye.

MINI’s xenon headlamp technology has also been further developed for the center-mounted lamp. This revolutionary new technology emits a super-heated beam that dries out fog up to 100 feet ahead of the car and dramatically improves visibility.

A spokesman for MINI UK said; “We are delighted to be getting this technology as a world first. I have so often been caught out in foggy weather while bringing home my fish ‘n’ chips. This breakthrough really is a godsend, me old mate.”

The dubious U.S. spellings for ‘centre’ and ‘light’ have been combined to form the trademark name of the system; Centerlite’ tm. . ‘Centerlite tm can be used with the main headlights on or off, thus when using only the ‘Centerlite’ MINI can even more closely resemble the motorcycle riding experience.

While trials in the UK are proving successful, MINI admits that work has to be done to improve battery power for the third lamp. The large battery requires the removal of the rear seats and raising the roof height by 3 inches.

No word as yet whether this ‘fog-busting’ technology will make the U.S. market where cold, foggy conditions are not so prevalent. Newfoundland, however, has the item pre-ordered as a 100% standard feature.

The standard two-lamp MINI Cooper went on sale at MINI dealers on March 23 2002. With an MSRP of $16,850 including delivery charges, the car will be joined by the even livelier, $19,850 MINI Cooper S in the coming weeks.

2003

REMOTE CONTROL STEERING AVAILABLE ON MINI
Little Car Crammed with High technology Sets New Standards in Convenience

Woodcliff Lake, New Jersey April 1, 2003… MINI is well known for packaging high-technology into a small space and its latest innovation, MINI Remote Steeringtm, takes ease of ownership to new levels. With MINI Remote Steeringtm, MINI has produced the world’s first commercially-available full-sized remote control car. Based on the proven ‘Tamiy-ah-hah’ model racing technology, the new system allows MINI owners to remotely operate their cars up to a distance of 150 feet.

Now, avoiding the rain is simple.
Thanks to Remote Steering, MINI comes right to your door.

This system provides a number of benefits. For example, it allows owners to arrive at their favorite restaurant, be seated at their table and then remotely park their car in the street outside. Furthermore, an apartment dweller in Manhattan can remotely bring their car up from the basement garage and position it on the street, ready to go.

Opposition to the new system has been voiced however. Valet Parker’s union president ‘Denton Dour said; ‘Hey, we loved driving this thing and now it looks like we’re out of a job…whaddya gonna do? ’ he opined. MINI Remote Steeringtm, is now also likely to give street racing a whole new perspective as tuners abandon their hot rods in favor of playing with their hand-held.

MINI spokesperson, Donna Falforit said ‘Clearly this once again highlights MINI as a high technology product. We have thoroughly trialed this new system and apart from the occasional interference with light aircraft and TV remotes, we are happy with it. Pricing is not set, but we think it’ll be a winner, especially on a day like today.”

Journalist note: MINI is the 2003 North American Car of the Year. (Seriously folks).

2004

MINI USA INTRODUCES 8 SPEED GEARBOX
MINI’s Forward Thinking Adds More Fun with 2 Speeds in Reverse

Woodcliff Lake, NJ – April 1, 2004… Hot on the heels of the announcement of the new MINI Convertible, MINI has announced the world’s first 8-speed gearbox, now with 2 reverse gears.

Research has shown that MINI owners have the highest ‘FGF’ score (Fun Going Forward) on the road and so MINI engineers have developed a 2-speed reverse gear to increase the ‘FGB’ (Fun Going Backward) score to a similar level.

Called Double Back Shifting (or Double B.S.), the new system adds a second reverse gear and thereby allows MINI owners to reverse faster than the competition to speeds of up to 40 mph.

As well as increasing the FGB score, the new system, along with MINI’s unique size, gives owners an almost unfair advantage when finding those elusive on-street parking spaces: If the driver overshoots the space, they can simply reverse in double quick time using B.S. to zip neatly into the space.

MINI gearbox engineer, Geary Ducshan said: “We worked hard to add this extra gear into the transmission. We are delighted with the results, the only disadvantage being the new larger box now takes up much of the passenger foot well, but it’s a price worth paying.”

The system has further advantages. Competitive minded drivers are clearly excited by this news and the SCCA is now looking at a reverse autocross challenge where MINI owners can enjoy B.S. to the max.

Pricing has yet to be announced, however, a MINI spokesman, said “this development is perfectly timed as there is no better day than April 1st to announce B.S.”

2005

MINI USA ANNOUNCES NEXT NEW SPECIAL EDITION; THE MINI PULLMAN
Special Model to Promote Flexible Transportation Initiative

Woodcliff Lake, NJ – April 1, 2005… MINI, already known for cornering as if it were on rails, will now offer a special edition that will actually corner on rails. In light of the growing problem of gridlock and rush hour traffic, this special model is adapted to ride on all domestic gauge rail lines throughout North America.

In conjunction with the North American railway system, an exclusive right-of-way has been authorized for the specially equipped MINI to commute via rail during peak hours in major urban centers. This access, once only limited to railway utility trucks is now available to MINI owners who order the special model.

The MINI Pullman can access the railway at any major crossing gate provided care is taken not to enter into the opposing direction of prevailing rail traffic. A new feature in the onboard computer allows the MINI ‘motorman’ or woman to access individual rail line schedules to plan their travels while on the rails.

The MINI Pullman comes fitted with a special wheel package that easily locks onto standard gauge rail thus allowing MINIs to corner on the roads and the rails with equal aplomb. An upgraded dual air-horn warning system comes standard on the model to alert inattentive pedestrians and vehicles as the MINI Pullman enters into crossing gate areas.

To compliment this new model, MINI has created a line of apparel. Items from overalls to hats are available in a fetching grey ticking-stripe pattern. Accessories for the vehicle include a brass roof-mounted bell and a special auxiliary engine exhaust stack that mounts on the bonnet. For four additional passengers, a specially adapted hitch system allows for the MINI Pullman owner to add the accessory Commuter Caboose.

“Access to the national system of underground subway rail is under consideration, once the logistics of accessing the track through individual subway stations can be solved” said national railway spokesperson Lou Komodeff, “We look forward to sharing the rails with MINI as long as they are ‘going our way.”

MINI spokesperson, Hugh Moore said, “MINI has mastered the art of cornering on the roads. Now we can claim that MINIs do literally corner on rails.” MINI has scheduled the first prototype testing on public railways to commence today, April 1st, 2005 ?

2006

MINI USA ANNOUNCES NEW “BUILD YOUR OWN’’ PROGRAM
Virtual Experience Becomes “Reality” for Owners to Build Their Own MINI at Home

Woodcliff Lake, NJ – April 1, 2006… Because MINI owners love to customize their cars, MINI announces today a brand-new “Build Your Own” program that gives customers the hands-on experience to build their own unique MINI.

MINI USA.com enables customers to easily configure their MINI online before ordering. This feature has been so popular that MINI has decided to create a unique pilot program to give select customers the opportunity to actually create the car of their dreams with their own hands.

In this pilot program, all of the car’s components can be specially ordered on-line and the parts will be delivered in installments, much like a book club, starting with the chassis parts and body work and then moving on to interior trim and engine.

“In 6 short weeks the customer can build their custom MINI in their own garage,” said Lou Spartz, MINI’s head of the Individualized Direct Ideal Order Trial program, or I.D.I.O.T for short. “Clearly, the greatest hurdle is in painting the body, so we will be sending owners a can of spray paint each week in the color of their choice – and of course, one for the contrast roof.”

“This new MINI Build your Own program will be made into a reality TV program.” said MINI spokesperson, Hardy Harrah, “We plan to chronicle a year of creative MINI owners in action building their own cars and we expect the television broadcast to air April 1st next year.

2009

MINI TO INTRODUCE “PERPETUAL MOTION” MAGNETIC PROPULSION SYSTEM

New magnetic system delivers world-leading fuel efficiency to MINI PR-0401
Hundreds, possibly thousands of miles range with magnetic power
Drive across the USA in a MINI for just a few dollars

Woodcliff Lake, NJ, April 1, 2009… MINI USA looks set to take a world lead in fuel efficiency with the announcement today (April 1) of a revolutionary magnetic propulsion system that will allow a MINI to drive to several hundred, possibly even thousands of miles with little charge and no need for fuel.

MINI USA has developed a unique Propulsion / Repulsion 0401 (PR0401) System that is just one short step away from perpetual motion in an automobile.

MINI’s PR 0401 System uses a series of magnets situated in the MINI’s four wheel hubs to both pull and push the wheels in the desired direction, exploiting the magnets’ natural tendency to attract and repel. Not only does this system allow the MINI PR to travel extraordinary distances for just a few cents, it produces virtually no noise as the electric motor can be switched off once the car is moving.

Professor Lirpa Loof, Head of Magnetic Attraction Technology at MINI USA, said: “The Mini E is already leading the way in EV performance, reliability and eco-friendliness but this amazing new system will push it onto another level. We could soon be seeing families travel across the USA from coast to coast for just a couple of bucks.”

“The only energy this system uses is a small draw on the battery to start the vehicle moving forward with an electric motor, and then the magnets take over and their natural properties do the rest. This has to be the ultimate range extender,” he added. “Anyone who has played with magnets as a kid or travelled on a Maglev train will understand precisely how this technology works and the kind of performance we are talking about.”

Once moving, only tiny amounts of electric current are required to switch on and off the magnets, as the polarity of the fixed and moving magnets is rapidly switched from positive to negative. The magnets first attract and then quickly repel each other pushing the wheels in the desired direction – either forward or reverse.

One challenge that Professor Loof faced with the PR system was the speed of the MINI PR… and how to control it! The speed at which the magnets attract and repel each other is instantaneous, which means in theory the vehicle is capable of phenomenal speeds, restricted only by the time it takes to switch the magnets’ polarity and the wind resistance and drag of the MINI PR’s body. The MINI EV PR development vehicles are currently restricted to a top speed of 250 mph.

“For years, engineers have dreamed of developing perpetual motion for transport,” said Professor Loof, “And thanks to MINI PR, it looks like we are almost there with a new model that will debut next April 1.”

2010

MINI USA TAKES AUTOMOBILE PERSONALIZATION TO A NEW LEVEL
Revolutionary new paint system allows quick, unlimited exterior color changes on the new MINI.

Woodcliff Lake, NJ – April 1, 2010… MINI, a leader in the manufacturing of customized vehicles, is set to take personalization to a whole new level with a revolutionary paint system that will allow owners to change the exterior color of their vehicle as often as they change their mood.

The ground-breaking MINIMagic paint system, exclusively available on MINI Clubman, will give MINI owners the chance to completely change their MINI’s exterior color in only a few minutes and with just the effort required to apply a single coat of wax – a world first for an automotive manufacturer.

The MINIMagic paint system will be available with any of the Clubman’s stunning paint colors, starting this spring.

“The introduction of MINIMagic will transform how owners select the exterior colors on a new MINI, offering even more ways to personalize their MINI,” said Jim McDowell, Vice President of MINI USA . “Gone are the days when our customers wondered if they made the right choice of paint color. With MINIMagic, if they change their mind, changing the color of their MINI can now be done as simply as changing a shirt or rinsing your hair from blonde to brunette!” he added.

The new, innovative range of MINIMagic paint finishes are first applied at the production facility in Oxford, United Kingdom, as the first stage in a two-part process. All it takes for the customer to activate an on-demand color change is a simple application of the second part of the process – a quick wipe over the painted surfaces with the patented MINIMagic paint polish. In minutes, the transformation – from Light Coffee to Cosmic Blue for example – can be completed.

The permanence of the color changes can be selected by the customer, with three different second-stage polishes available – one month, six months or permanent. If left alone, the one-month and six-month paint finishes eventually revert to the vehicle’s original paint color, a process that happens in just a few hours at the end of the chosen period.

Paul Lisch, Head of Exterior Aesthetics and Paint Finishes at MINI USA, said: “MINIMagic will bring a whole new meaning to the concept of car cleaning and restoration. As easily carried out as a wash and a wipe, our owners can have a ‘new’ MINI Clubman that is capable of matching any atmosphere or any occasion.”

The MINI Clubman, exhibiting some real ‘MINIMagic’, can be seen on the MINI display from April 1st during the New York Auto Show, held at the Jacob Javitz Center in New York City.

2012

NEW AMPHIBIOUS MINI COOPER YACHTSMAN TO LAUNCH IN NEW YORK… BESIDE THE HUDSON RIVER

Woodcliff Lake, NJ – April 1, 2012… MINI customers will be able to boldly go where no motorer has gone before when the all-new MINI Cooper Yachtsman makes its world premiere at the New York International Auto Show next week, right beside the Hudson River.

Designed to bring MINI ownership to people who regard the 70 percent of the earth’s surface covered by water as their home, the new MINI Cooper Yachtsman is a corner-carving crustacean that promises go-kart-like handling and a sensational combination of amphibious* and landphibious performance both on and off the water.

Certain to be as popular in New York harbor as it will be at the Jumeira Palm marina or Monte Carlo harbor, the MINI Cooper Yachtsman is fitted with a shark-resistant undercoating as standard, and can carve through water at speeds up to 61 knots, while promising an equally rewarding driving (but not diving…) experience – on-road or off-land.

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